Shia LaBeouf’s Arrest During ‘Cabaret’ Performance is Passe

Last night, at a performance of Cabaret on Broadway’s Studio 54, someone caused such a stir in the audience during act one that the police had to remove them from the premises at intermission. This person was spanking peoples’ butts when he walked into the theater, smoking in the theater during the show, being obnoxiously loud and using offensive language including homophobic slurs when being escorted out, and all the while people said he smelled like he hadn’t taken a shower in days. This person was Shia LaBeouf.silence-of-the-lambs

As if all of that wasn’t the funny part, the police actually put a mask on him because he wouldn’t stop spitting.

Lots of actors have issues keeping their act together. What’s interesting about LaBeouf is that, over the course of his 14 year career, that man simply can’t seem to settle into normalcy for more than a few minutes. In the past year alone, LaBeouf:

  • went public on Twitter with his feud between Orphans co-star Alec Baldwin and director Daniel Sullivan and his subsequent departure from the play
  • was accused of plagiarising artist Dan Clowes in his short film HowardCantour
  • plagiarised an apology to Dan Clowes from a yahoo answers post
  • subsequently hired a skywriter to write an apology to Dan Clowes in the sky over L.A.
  • wore a paper bag over his head with the words “I’m not famous anymore” written on it at the premiere of Nymphomaniac, a phrase he repeatedly posted on twitter for days leading up to it
  • head-butted a man during a bar-crawl in London

Antics are one thing, but it’s beginning to look like LaBeouf might have some mental health problems he needs to work out — and it doesn’t resemble Joaquin Phoenix’s career immolation a few years ago, either; at least when Joaquin was screwing around it was slapsticky and shameful, something you could probably accurately anticipate with LaBeouf in a way that just doesn’t feel comfortable. Instead of embracing, and even creating this conundrum, Shia just lets his party get out of hand, like a good, irresponsible adult that expect him to be, he seems to be melting down into a cesspool of douchebaggery that only people close to him have learned to tolerate. In light of having trouble handling his own ego, Shia LeBouf apparently LOVES the attention he’s getting, otherwise why would he constantly draw our attention? Chaotic spitting, ass-slapping, chain-smoking Shia doesn’t have anyone to answer to…. so he thinks…… and that means he can act any way he damn well pleases, wherever he aimlessly ends up……………………………………. Right???

Yea…..right.

Most of the time when celebrities act crazy towards the public, it turns out to be a minor domestic violence fiasco or an unfortunate faux pas involving reporters and famously overworked actors like Sean Penn and Bjork Gudmundsdottir. But this display by LaBeouf shows an increasingly frequent pattern of behavior that almost inevitably results in a demeaning backlash from the media that LaBeouf hasn’t yet learned to outsmart.

Maybe he got too big too fast? Or maybe he just forgot to take his meds. Either way, this is one celebrity we’re all going to have fun watching make public statements for years to come (if he doesn’t unintentionally concoct his own demise before then!).

Does that ripped blue shirt feel “cool” on your shoulders, Shia? Like your shoulder bones are so punk that they just couldn’t be contained and burst out? Or was it the cops dragging you out of a broadway play for being a dickhead, oh, I’m sorry, yea, probably that…..