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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
WC Fields Quotes

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
WC Fields Quotes

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
WC Fields Quotes

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
WC Fields Quotes

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
WC Fields Quotes

Here lies WC Fields Quotes. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
WC Fields Quotes

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
WC Fields Quotes

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
WC Fields Quotes

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
WC Fields Quotes

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
WC Fields Quotes

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
WC Fields Quotes

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
WC Fields Quotes

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
WC Fields Quotes

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
WC Fields Quotes

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
WC Fields Quotes

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
WC Fields Quotes

I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
WC Fields Quotes

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
WC Fields Quotes

If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
WC Fields Quotes

If there’s a will, prosperity can’t be far behind.
WC Fields Quotes

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
WC Fields Quotes

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
WC Fields Quotes

It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
WC Fields Quotes

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
WC Fields Quotes

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
WC Fields Quotes

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
WC Fields Quotes

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
WC Fields Quotes

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
WC Fields Quotes

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
WC Fields Quotes

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
WC Fields Quotes

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
WC Fields Quotes

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
WC Fields Quotes

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
WC Fields Quotes

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
WC Fields Quotes

There are only two real ways to get ahead today – sell liquor or drink it.
WC Fields Quotes

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
WC Fields Quotes

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
WC Fields Quotes

Women are like elephants. I like to look at ‘em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.
WC Fields Quotes

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
WC Fields Quotes

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
WC Fields Quotes

On the whole, I’d rather be in Philidelphia.
WC Fields Quotes

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
WC Fields Quotes

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
WC Fields Quotes

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
WC Fields Quotes

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
WC Fields Quotes

Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.
WC Fields Quotes

Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.
WC Fields Quotes

Never give a sucker an even break.
WC Fields Quotes

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
WC Fields Quotes

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
WC Fields Quotes

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
WC Fields Quotes

I must have a drink of breakfast.
WC Fields Quotes

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
WC Fields Quotes

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
WC Fields Quotes

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
WC Fields Quotes

I never met a kid I liked.
WC Fields Quotes

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
WC Fields Quotes

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
WC Fields Quotes

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
WC Fields Quotes

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
WC Fields Quotes

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
WC Fields Quotes

I drink therefore I am.
WC Fields Quotes

I like children – fried.
WC Fields Quotes

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
WC Fields Quotes